NHA Lifestyle Blog
Why the quality of your life is not an act
You know that awful feeling when it comes? It just ruins the entire day, some call it the fear or maybe dread but either way, I felt it every Sunday back then and with even greater urgency on Monday mornings. As much as I tried to forget about or learn how to deal with dread, Monday was coming and no matter how many positive vibes I tried to fill myself with, there would always be this same feeling.
Sunday dread and fear of Monday
In fact, Sunday was sometimes worse than Monday for the fact that, too often I would choose to sit around the apartment all day and do as little as possible because time seemed to go slower that way. And then sometimes, I would combat these feelings by heading down the pub and drinking enough to make things a whole lot worse than they should have been the following morning.
See, it also felt like this was just something I needed to get used to and before anyone welcomes me to the real world, which was a typical response back then, let me just say that this most definitely felt every bit like a real world, man, but what’s important here is that it Still. Felt. Wrong.
The Game of Life and dread
You know, during my time working as a tour leader in Africa we used to play this game where, if you were ever caught saying the word “Mine”, it meant ten press-ups at anytime, anywhere. It was quite an embarrassing and silly thing to do but this competition, the “Game of life” as it was called, is the reason that I never say this particular word anymore. I was so incredibly fed up with having to do press ups in supermarkets and police stations every day that my relentless urge to never say this word again, eventually became habit.
What has the game of life and dread got to do with anything?
Well, let me explain. I’m writing about this because I woke up this morning, rolled over on one side and picked up my list of things to do for today. Then, after checking my emails quickly, I lay back and noticed how rested and completely relaxed I was feeling. It was 6am and as I had done every day so far over the past month, I wondered briefly if this feeling of content was going to end, after all, it was Monday and there had been no fear for such a long time.
The List of Lifestyle
So it did take a while but it struck me this morning that I would never need to go back to the fear, that my Sunday blues and dreaded Monday’s had in fact disappeared in the face of an entirely new lifestyle. The list in my hand was also something new, as I now write in a journal each day to make sure things get done and then there is a part of this particular list which specifically outlines everything I liked or disliked about the previous week and everything I could do on Monday to make it better. It felt dumb to carry around a journal every day to remind me of what was important but then as a result of this dumb list, I was waking up every single morning, not just on Sunday or Monday, and focusing on what I needed to do in order to not make the same mistakes of the previous week.
“Quality is not an act, it is a habit” Aristotle
Quality is not an act
It seems to me that it’s quite normal to feel these blues, this dread or fear or whatever you wanna call it but actually, it’s not normal to continue living this way from one day to the next. I should know, it took a nervous breakdown and a year long cycle across Africa to make me realize how I needed to change my circumstances rather than waiting for it to happen. And I know it’s not easy either, believe me, the process of writing everything down and keeping a positive focus over the past few months took effort to instill.
See, I guess what I am trying to say here is that the fear and dread would never have gone away until I changed my outlook or circumstances because ignoring the truth doesn’t make anything go away and you know what’s even more important? It was just stupid to go on pretending my job was amazing or that my life in general was okay because you get out of the future exactly what you put into practice right now and at the end of the day, the quality of your life is not an act, it’s a habit.
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